While some conspiracy theorists believe thatshadow organizations such as theIlluminati or the New World Order or the American military-industrial complex are heck-bent on taking over our lives,ProfessorRoush haslong suspected thatmarketing groups are the real shadow organizations that will bring about the downfall of civilization. After all, theyve already convinced us to buy bottled tap water at prices exceeding that of our dwindling oil supplies.
As further evidence of my theory, I learned today that an Indiegogo campaign has formed to convince willing fools such as myself to part with moneyfor the promisethat a prairie garden can be created by haphazardly firing shotgun shells packed with flower seed intoa field.Several hours ago, if you asked me what I thought shotgun gardening was, Id have envisioned a haphazard assemblage of shrubs, flowers, grasses, and plants stuffed hither and yon into the landscape without a specific plan. Icertainly wouldnt have expected thatit meant that I could step out on my back porch and, true to VP Joe Bidensrecent suggestion, fire off a couple of rounds and create a garden.
Indiegogo, for the unenlightened, is a site that lets anyone use its powerful social media tools to create campaigns for raising money (or, if you prefer, suckers to fleece).The Shotgun Garden Indiegogo campaign is run from www.flowershell.com, where you canpurchase twelve-gauge shotgun shells loaded with twelve different kinds of seeds including peony, poppy, cornflower, daisy and sunflower seeds.
I have a plethora of experience strewing countless meadows-in-a-can around my environment without altering the forb/grass ratio of the native prairie to any appreciable degree, so Im somewhat skeptical that a few shotgun shells full of flower seed will improve the outcome. And these are live shells, dangerous in their own right. What if I mistookFlowershells for rock salt while chasing offthe pack of teenage boys who constantly circle my daughter?Youreno daisymight not workanymore as a nineteenth century throwback insult for those boys.I certainlycant riskthe chance of contributing to their delinquency if their backsides eachsprouted a personal poppy field.
No, Indiegogos efforts are wasted on me because Im certainly not going to wastemy hard-won cash on Flowershells,despite howinteresting andtemptingthey might seem to a bored gardener in winter. My gardening money is going to have to be wasted the old-fashioned way, attempting to grow meadowsfrom a can.
Via: Garden in a gun
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